Monday, May 14, 2012

Open Letter to Tristan Prettyman

credit: Metal Rockz
Dear TP,

You don’t know me and I am pretty sure you would only know my existence (if ever) when you read this. But I am not banking much on that really as there are thousands of other people I battle with for a second of your time on twitter (I have hopes in my heart though). Anyway, here goes nothing.

I came across you and your music through a friend from San Diego sometime around 2005. As kids back then, we talked about music and other crazy stuff our age would discuss with other friends online. Seeing that we all live thousands of miles apart, them being in the US and I being here in the Philippines, messengers were the thing and not twitter nor facebook (though FB was already getting a little bit of attention). Sharing music was an integral part of our conversations, going through itunes purchasing them or just merely sending it through the messenger (but the shared song was paid for just to let you know haha). I fell in love with your artistry/musicality the moment I heard your song “Love, Love Love”.

You see, being 21 that year and going to be freshly out of university in a few months without knowing really what the universe has for me, that all these people older than me have build up expectations, songs became my guide. These spoke to me:

And this life is a beautiful one
And though I seen it comin undone
Well I know most definitely
It always works out the way it’s meant to be
So baby keep your head up
Keep it on the up and up
And know now cause you got all my
Love love love

Indeed, life is a beautiful one and everything would come to its rightful place. That these expectations from my family and friends would work out. Studying in one of the top universities in the country and graduating from it, you cannot stop people from assuming and even expecting that you would land a perfectly good job from the top companies in the country/world. Disappointing them kept me up on my toes, but mostly I think I had to admit that disappointing me was worse than disappointing them really. Like people my age, I was at loss of where I needed to be, who I can be and when these all would happen. I kept it to myself. But your songs, especially, “Love, Love Love” helped in a way that if ever I mess up, these people with the very expectations of me, will always have that love for me no matter what, that if ever I disappoint myself, I needed to keep my head up high because their love will prevail. That they would not let me go just like that, that they would accept all the decisions I make and support me, that they would come around sooner than I hope they would be after all that is done.  

7 years later, here I am again, thinking I am just sailing through the motions. I needed a nudge to reality. That I am losing touch of whom I really should be or where I ought to be. We never really cannot know, can we? I would like to think that I am not alone at this little space I am in. That probably there would be people other than myself experiencing this, whether they call this adventure soul searching or just finding a place in this so called universe.

Yesterday, May 13, 2012 (happy mothers day to your mom btw) I had my Sunday free so I browsed through some blog sites after I finished reading a book - which has not been like that for quite some time due to work and other engagements and that includes finishing a book really. I stumbled upon yours, gone through your posts and read all what you have written. Then like a tumbleweed with no direction at all that day, I saw the video you shared about “Say Anything” (forgive me I have not been keeping up with a lot of things, thus mentioning earlier that I think I was just sailing through the motions).

I had to replay that video up on youtube over and over again to bask in the lyrics and the message that you are sending to me. You see, I am in a possible crossroad in my life (although it’s not in black and white yet nor 100% sure as of the moment) and though your song is about telling people/person dear to us that we love them/him/her. Say Anything, meant differently for me especially these:

we won't break if we let go
you and I already know
we were bound to be set free
eventually (?), here we are now
you can say anything

you should listen to your heart
it's gonna tell you what you need

I have not listened to my heart for a while now. Going back through my choices in life, I can possibly count how many times I used, “I THINK” in all those decisions. That my heart was not heard most of the time. That I need to let go of some of the things my mind is holding against my heart, that I should listen to it more often because we can never be truly happy if our hearts are not in the right place. Maybe that is when we can truly say we are content of where and who we are.

This crossroad, where I am right now, Say Anything could be my soundtrack. It is a song for me not for anyone else. That telling my self, I love you would bring clarity when that crossroad becomes in print right in front of me, holding it in my bare hands and reading through the words asking me to make the decision on which direction to take.

What I am driving at with this is, I want to thank you Ms. Tristan Prettyman with all my heart. That no matter how far I am actually from where you are, your message (in one way or another) came across and broke the distance. I know this is felt by many other people who appreciate you and dearly respect the person you are, but I wanted to say it out loud. Your music never fails me. That is just two parts of my life written in here where you have injected clarity through your music. With all my heart I thank you.

Like I said, I wouldn’t be really banking on you reading this. But you bet I am crossing all my fingers including the toes in the hopes that my thank you, no matter how small would reach you.

Please continue making music that inspires – and I still appreciate those not so up beat ones by the way. I am one of those that can signify the effect you have on us. That one day, I hope in this lifetime, I would meet you and like a little fangirl, go giddy in that very moment.

You change hearts, Tristan Prettyman. You do. So thank you very much for the music. I heard you and I listened.

With utmost love and respect,

(from miles and miles away)

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