Tuesday, January 7, 2014

5 Reasons Why I am Fat


Turning the ripe age of 30 in the next coming months with height 5 foot 3 and weighing 67 kilos where all of these excess flab decided to enjoy their fatty self in my mid section, things do not look pretty. And this would even make you want to break the mirror every day.

With those digits, what better way to start 2014 with some pure self reflection and admittance? I am overweight and I hate every I have been tagging along with me.

For almost 6 years I have gained more than enough pounds that I am not supposed to. For some who knows me within this 6 year time frame would not actually see much difference but for those who have known me before these 6 stagnant years, they are appalled. Why? I used to weigh around 53-55 kilos – just right around the corner of being in the ideal weight, athletic and very active.

My absolute worst weight was 72 kilos (158.4 lbs) for a medium built female as tall as 5’2 inches this is 19 kilos or 41.8 pounds overweight, bordering obesity - and this was around 2011 – 2012. Almost all things were fucked (sorry for the word kids) up then. Self esteem like a doormat with a welcome sign ready to be stepped on. Clothes are getting bigger and not fitting. No chance of getting the clothes you would want to wear because it does not have your size. Being called fat, heck even being called “Fiona” because of the weight – that is no joke, people called me that behind my back and I found out about it and hell broke loose, but this is a different story altogether.

The past year, 2013 I went back to running a little and playing badminton once a week for about 2 hours. I went down to my current weight of 67 kilos then and it was a fluctuating feat. Nothing serious, just getting the grove back.

They say that the best way to start changing is realizing there is something to change. For me, one of those things would be the weight. I still have 14 kilos to lose (30.8 lbs), this maybe very minute to some who have “more to love” but for me, I have reached my tipping point.

So before the 5 reasons why I am fat, here are some unflattering pictures of me at my bordering obesity phase taken from one of our vacations to the two most beautiful places I have been in the Philippines Sand Bar in Bais, Negros (near Dumaguete) and Siquijor.

 

5 Reasons Why I am Fat:

1. Denial: That is a one word reason but speaks volume.
  • Denying that I am actually getting fat and I am not doing anything about it.
  • Not admitting that I am bound for a serious problem very very soon.
  • I did not want to accept that I have reached a state where I had to change the way I live. 
  • Denying that I am aging and growing old requires more activities.

What I am doing now/have done:

  • I am not going to be 21 forever where I could run a good 10 kilometers without passing out. I have accepted that I need to change my lifestyle and I have to work on my determination to actually stick to the plan. Accepted the fact that I am very fat (my point of view) and I need to really work on it.



2. Having a lot of excuses:

  • Excuses such as not running because I do not have a running buddy. Not playing badminton because no one would be able to play with me for straight 2 hours (coming from a varsity, this is minimal).
  • That I could always go back to my ideal weight without a fuss because I was an athlete and had the greatest metabolism. - very stupid of me.



What I am doing now/have done:

  • I got myself a 1 year gym membership (144 visits) that is 3 times a week work out. I started it this week and I do not need a buddy to work out. I need my body to actually work out.



3. Eating like a mean machine and like there is no tomorrow:

  • I chug down all the wrong drinks, swallowed gazillions of chocolates, chewed my way to a lot of foods I do not even understand what was in them. McDonalds, Jollibee and other fast foods became my go to food and best friends. Few fruits, less water more sugar.

What I am doing now/have done:

  • I am watching what I eat, started logging in the intakes to ensure I know what is going in and what I need to avoid. A little bit more expensive than the fast food but this would save me thousands in the near future just by avoiding hospitalization and medications.

4. Procrastinating to the fullest:

  • I think I have mastered procrastination. I knew I had to be active but I always told myself, there would be “tomorrow” or “next week” or “reschedule. This went on for a long time and look where it got me, 72 kilos.
  • I put off running (which I used to do), I put off playing badminton which I have loved so dearly. I put off a lot of things. See reason 1, why.



What I am doing now/have done:

  • Following a strict gym schedulethrice a week. Making sure that I get into the program the right way. Telling myself that I have a goal and I must stick to it. More rewards if I get it done.
  • Writing what I have gone through the day or what I thought and feel while staying on track. I have that little book where I write my blabs about the road to 53 kilos so that I would be able to look back on how I was able to manage to achieve my goal.



5. Being dormant like a volcano - my absolute worst:

  • I was a couch potato during weekends with potato chips, with sodas, pizzas and whatever junk I could chew. I did not do anything about it at all. I sat around like a slobSlept late, woke up late and even just lying in bed doing nothing for the duration of the weekend – if I did not have a schedule.
  • 7 flights of stairs would be easy to take if I remained active but no, I took the elevator up and down. Even if it was lesser than 7 flights.
  • Instead of walking to the mall (whenever eating out), I would commute which is longer due to traffic and costly than walking. Office is about 5 – 10 minute walk to the mall. Imagine the dormancy and laziness.
  • Not walking around to break off being sedentary all day even for 10 minutes or 15 (which is advised).
  • Forgoing exercise over a movie night out plus junk food to enjoy in a 2 hour time frame.
  • Just sitting, shitting, doing nothing.



What I am doing now/have done:

  • Exercise schedules, taking the stairs whenever possible: 12 flights going down is quite easy but makes you a little woozy. I would try sometime soon going up and if I get the stamina, I would maybe do it every other day – out of the gym schedule.
  • Working around on having the right amount of sleep. At least 6 hours for this age.
  • Just being active.



I am not trying to be a guru nor even an expert. I am nowhere near that. My purpose of this is hoping that one day, some day, I would be able to touch someone and make him/her realize that everything starts with us

If we want to change something about ourselves, the first step would always be admitting to our faults and doing something about it, not wallowing or feeling sorry. Actually do something and stop making excuses. 






2 comments :

  1. being overweight is not bad at all . you can lose some weight by working little hard .

    ReplyDelete